Jackie's Blog

I haven't been here in awhile. I feel like this is my place to write about you. But I haven't been feeling up to it yet... because illustrating what I'm feeling is already difficult enough... I always seem to water down the things I experience, but to think about you... really think and write about you makes me miss you too much. I don't think I have ever experienced true sadness til you were gone... and lately I've been finding it much easier to just live life without thinking too much about you. How terrible, right? The thing is... you're always in my thoughts. But I make a huge effort to not let any sudden scenes of you being sick or needing help come across my mind... I hated seeing you vulnerable. You're my rock... and to see you fall makes me feel as if anything else in my life could do the same. I love you so much. And I pray every single night that you're up in Heaven. I have to see you later on. Lately, you've been motivating me. Sometimes I find it really difficult and exhausting to help our family members... but I know you would've done everything you could to make all of this better, and that's the main reason I'm finally trying... I want to finish what you've started... I want to continue to reach out to those people you've reached out to before. You did so much for everyone else and I really don't want to disappoint them.